People say the relationship scene is messed up. While we know that good relationships exist, we wanted to share the funny stories or first-date experiences of some young Nigerians. We interviewed five online this week and got really hilarious responses from them. Enjoy.
Treasure, Lagos
Back then in my 100l days, I was dating a guy who I visited at his parent’s. we decided to Netflix and chill and few minutes into the movie, we started kissing, smooching and doing all sorts that couples do. Lol. Although I didn’t want us to have sex, I was ready to do the oral part. While he laid on the bed, I knelt to give him head, just at a corner of the bed. Just two minutes into it, his mother stormed the room. I was so shocked, seeing his mum, with her son’s penis in my mouth. Urrrhgh. Annoyingly, my supposed baby boy told me to keep going simply because he didn’t see her get into the room. I had enough for the night and was willing to leave. I later boned the whole thing sha. Whenever I remember it, I still cringe.
Tomiwa, ph
Crazy things are happening, as Tems sang. Sometime back when I was still simping, I hooked up with a girl and we agreed on just sex. When it was time to start the business, I pulled off my shorts and she immediately burst into laughter. I wondered why because I knew I was way huge down there. Next thing babe said after I asked was that I must have forgotten to clear my bush and she wouldn’t have sex with me. I appealed and even tried getting a shaving stick to shave but couldn’t. Last last, she said she would braid them for me. This didn’t sound cool to me at all. She finally braided them. Making my big boy look like a joke. We finally decided to have sex and it only lasted for seconds. She threw more insults at me and called me a one-minute man. This time, I didn’t even mind her. I was just busy loosening the hairs.
Bellaruse, Abia
I remember dating this girl and wanted to explore further until I concluded she was a witch and put a stop to my escapades. First, I paid for threesome with two other girls and it didn’t go well. In fact, it was a mess. The girls complained bitterly about my boring styles and even beat me up. When my gf asked what happened, I lied I had an accident. Stubborn me decided to storm the streets again when I met an elderly, but fine looking woman. She promised to pay me N500,000 weekly if I’ll date and sleep with her which I gladly agreed. On the supposed day, I went over at her place, we chilled and then started having sex. Behold, another elderly but clean woman stepped in and this made me totally uninterested. My dick dropped and I couldn’t continue but they kept laughing and asked me to continue. When I couldn’t, I was told to face the wall while they watch me jerk off so I can be erect again. This was so embarrassing to me. Long story short, I couldn’t get hard and was told to fuck off without a dime. I finally concluded my gf is a witch and until we broke up, I never cheated on her again.
Mariam, Lagos
Once, I travelled to Abuja to see this supposed Abuja big boy. On our first date, we got ice cream and cake and while i was eating mine, guy started talking about gym classes. Yea, I love going to the gym but it got really stressful and I decided to stop. He continued talking about my body and how I would get bigger if I continue eating cakes and ice cream, especially after I start having babies. This became embarrassing as he made his opinions obvious by demonstrating clearly. I wasn’t having it again and I threw the remaining ice cream at him while I ran out. You won’t believe this guy chased me. I quickly hopped on a bike and left for the hotel I lodged.
